What is the Vew From Your Child's Eyes?

Yesterday my 13 year old daughter , Aly came to me and asked me if she could write something for the blog. I said, "sure" and about a 1/2 hour later she handed me a one page paper titled In the eyes of an Accountable Kid. It was interesting for me to see my teens outlook on chores and responsibility because some days I am wondering where my happy, sweet child went. She has hit the age where I am no longer "cool". How did that happen? She now rolls her eyes at me and when I tell her something she says, "I know mom" and finishes off with an exasperated look. I often wonder if anything I am saying or doing is touching her heart. Now don't get me wrong, Aly is a great kid and she has a heart of gold, but some days her hormones are overriding her brain.

This blog entry she wrote reminded me that deep down she has learned valuable lessons about life, family, and character. There will be days, maybe years, where she may hide beneath the "teen facade" but a foundation has been established for her build her future. Our family isn't perfect. My kids whine, complain, and leave their dishes on the counter waiting for the maid (like we have one) to clean up after them. But, Accountable Kids has given us some consistency amongst the chaos. Aly's letter reminded me that she is paying attention to what we have been teaching her and she is seeing the good in the organizational system in our home.

The other thing that Aly's blog brought to mind is the power of sitting down and writing out your thoughts. So often our kids send text messages or quick e-mails. They are not encouraged to ponder and map out their thoughts and then write them down for all to see. It made me realize the power of concentrated thought and expression. Have you ever asked your kids what they thought of Accountable Kids? What is the value of all of this to them. Are they learning anything that will help them in the future. What is the view from your child's eyes?

In the Eyes of an Accountable Kid

When you read Happy kids, Proud parents, Strong families, do you ever wonder or doubt.  “How can my kids like doing chores or even do them with a happy heart.” I am an accountable kid and have been using the Accountable Kids program for about nine years and I know that I do like to do my chores now because they’re not chores they are responsibilities that we get entrusted with. Lots of kids now are lazy.  Typically we don’t want to do any chores because we don’t think they benefit us in any way, but after using Accountable Kids for so long I know different.  I can see now when our chores are done it does benefit us.  It makes life easier for our parents because when the house is clean they tend to be a little less stressed and don’t nag us.  It makes life easier for us because we have a positive attitude when our parents aren’t stressed or nagging us.  It gives us more time to spend as a family because we aren’t cleaning all the time because when we do our chores the house stays cleaner and we aren’t angry with each. We all get more done on a daily basis.  Our pets are happier when we have more time to spend with them.  We also get key tools that we need to be able to live on our own and work jobs. Kids grow up and use many of the same parenting tools that their parents used especially if they were good parents.  We get our foundation for life from our parents.  We learn in our years at home many things that affect our character traits. I know that now, and later I will be able to cherish and grow from my experience from living with my parents.  I know that now, and later I will be thanking them with my words, thoughts, actions and one day hopefully my children.

A Moms 12 Days of Christmas Wish List

One clean house,

Two well-mannered children,

Three home cooked meals,

Four paws wiped before coming inside the house,

Five minutes to myself,

Six cups of coffee,

Seven loads of laundry washed, dried, and folded,

Eight bags of groceries delivered to my door,

Nine dozen Christmas cards addressed, stamped, and mailed for me,

Ten dozen cookies baked for teacher gifts, cookie swaps, and parties,

Eleven presents purchased that the recipients won’t want to return,

And last but certainly not least, twelve hours of sleep!

Great Movie for the Family

Every so often a movie or a book comes around that is just too good not to share. Temple Grandin is a phenomenal story about an amazing woman with autism. This true story is interesting, heartfelt, and thought provoking. The movie creates an immediate springboard for in depth discussions on autism, perseverance, bullying, and love.

As a side note my husband was walking by the living room as we started the movie. I encouraged him to watch it with us and he said he was too busy. After standing in the hall for 45 minutes, he finally sat down and watched the ending and said, "Wow, that was a really good movie." My 8, 10 and 13 year olds even made me pause the movie for a bathroom break so they wouldn't miss anything.

At the end of the movie my daughter turned to me and said, "Mom, I bet there are other kids out there like Temple who look different and don't seem smart at first, but they are gifted and have a purpose from God." I think I will have to buy this movie so we can watch it again.

Today my daughter asked if she could do something different for science. She wanted to make an Ames optical illusion room box like in the movie Temple Grandin. We spent hours learning about optical illusions and learning how to make this room. It was a great science day where we all learned something new!

Do you have a favorite movie? We would love to hear from you.

Thinking Outside the Box

How many times do you give empty threats … how many times do you say the same thing? Even though we developed the Accountable Kids program, my husband and I are still trying to get this parenting thing right. Let's face it, parenting is tough! We do the best with what we have, and every day we try to raise accountable kids.

Lately we have had trouble getting the girls to go to bed quietly. The Privilege Pass was a great incentive to help our young kids develop a positive habit of going to bed, but now that our kids are 12, 10 and 8 we found ourselves in need of something more. We needed an "out of the box" solution.

Yesterday was a very busy day and dinner was late. I sent the girls up to bed. I told them I would clean up the kitchen and do the dishes, but I warned them that if they didn't go straight to bed I would have them come down and clean. Needless to say, I had to run upstairs several times to tell my girls to be quiet, settle down and get to sleep. One needed another drink, the other had to go to the bathroom and needed something in another room. Then I found them jumping on the bed and running around the room. They were wound up and having a great time while I finished all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I was tired and not in a good mood! I was full of empty threats and no consequences.

On the way up to their room, yet again, I realized that I was saying, “If I have to come up one more time and quiet you down, there will be a problem.” I realized that I was the one with the problem, not them. My problem was that I had not set a definite consequence for the behavior that was troubling me; I needed a consequence that was impactful.

I decided my “out of the box” solution was to put their energy to good use. I turned on the light and told the two girls who couldn’t settle down to get up. I didn’t get upset and did it in a pleasant, loving matter. I told them I was sorry they had made the choice, but if they were so energized, they could come downstairs and vacuum and fold laundry. They looked at me like I was crazy. Suddenly they were very tired. These were not easy jobs and took time to complete. When they were finished I told them I loved them, appreciated their work, thanked them, and was sorry that they chose not to go to bed. As they were wearily getting into bed I told them the floors still needed to be mopped if they still were not ready to sleep. They went to bed tired and quietly fell asleep.

The next day we discussed choices and consequences together as a family. We went over bedtime rules and the specific consequences for not following those rules. That night the girls went to bed and all was quiet. It felt great to know that if they chose to stay up the consequence would not be on me! This "out of the box" solution has brought peace once again to our evenings. It is just another reminder that It’s up to us, the parents, to set limits and enforce boundaries in a creative, respectful manner so that our children can learn important life lessons.

Do you have an "out of the box" idea? I would love to hear from you.

Gratitude

There is a great deal of negative energy in the world today - wars, riots, natural disasters, pain, suffering, anger, and hatred. Many of us are also facing huge challenges, obstacles or discomfort. At times we may feel overwhelmed and powerless because of what we see and experience. During these times we can see the world’s view or we can CHOOSE to accept a higher perspective. This can be done through the powerful lens of gratitude. Adopting this view can change everything.

Gratitude is the key to peace and serenity in your life. Gratitude is a magic key that opens your heart up to giving and receiving love. It involves being grateful for ALL things in your life, letting go, and experiencing the healing power of love in all situations.

Feel gratitude this day for your life and your abundance. This day, with all its seeming problem and difficulties, is absolutely perfect if viewed from a new perspective. Feel the joy of life, and view the wonders of your world.

The future is unsure, but this beautiful moment shines in radiant perfection, holding gifts and blessings that only can be experienced as you let go of how things ought to be and joyfully experience life just as it is this moment. The abundance and the joys of life are everywhere. They are often found in the small, simple things in life. Savor, appreciate and give thanks. Express gratitude and make it the way you live your life this day. Observe your experiences change as you give thanks in all things and for all things. Gratitude fuels love and love fuels gratitude. Write down your blessings, record your gratitude, and observe your day expand in joyful appreciation.

What are you thankful for today?

Towel off Excess Water Use

It is more and more common to see hotels encouraging guests to conserve water by re-using towels. Studies show that you can help a hotel conserve up to 40% of its water use by simply not having your sheets and towels changed every day.

I began wondering how I could bring this idea into my own home. I was struggling with an issue of wet towels on the floor. I was the daily maid responsible for picking up towels and then adding them to an ever growing laundry pile. If my kids couldn't find a towel, they just reached for a new, fresh towel adding more to my workload.

All this added up to more water, more electricity and more work for me due to my kids lack of responsibility. Our family came up with an idea that has solved the wet towel problem! Each week in our family meeting everyone picks out a new towel for the week. Our kids enjoy selecting a color and are learning to be responsible for taking care of that towel for an entire week. When the kids remember to hang their towel up to dry, they are the one who benefits from a clean smelling towel each day. Another great perk is when a parent sees a wet towel on the ground, the kids know exactly who the towel belongs to. No more picking up wet towels for mom and dad and our laundry pile is definitely smaller!

Do you have a helpful tip that can save parents time and energy? I would love to hear from you.